1. |
When The Train Arrives
02:34
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I’m all awash with bathtub tears
I’m staring up at subway tiles
I think I’ll close my eyes down here
Just wake me when the train arrives
My hair is algae; skin is sand
I tell myself one hundred lies
My legs become a mermaid tail
Just wake me when the train arrives.
You see, every night’s fourth of July
So I’m numb to every fire-lit sky
I lose myself in violet poems
I lose the names of those I know
So what’s my love when I’m alone
And time’s a rolling mirror ball
And no one’s picking up the phone
Because no one ever placed a call?
It ain’t no plugged in hair blow-dryer
It’s not a TV suicide
No gulp or two of bubble bath
No Kool-aid full of cyanide
It’s a rope gone red from bloody hands
The mud from heels that dig in dirt
The love that loving takes from you
The sick impatience of the hurt
And it’s not wanting to die, but live
It’s swallowing your pride for thirst
It’s a doomed thought that your bathtub
Isn’t deep enough to drown in….
Oh, I need a friend
I need a hand
I lock myself out of my mind
I’m stuck beneath this mermaid sand
Please wake me when the train arrives.
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2. |
Can't Hide Forever
03:13
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I was counting tips and laughing like a maniac
I threw that cash out on a big bed in a movie
I was feeling like I’d finally outrun the bad guys
Like I got away with something
And now I’m packing heat and watching as the world goes crazy
And in my corner I’ve been practicing my great escape
I’ll be fine as long as no one catches on too early
No, just let me keep on running
But I look in the mirror and
See a mouth move around to say
You can’t hide forever
Now I run down the flicker hall
Like a hunted animal
Because I can’t hide forever
And you can’t hide forever
And this room runs on a clock that stopped five years ago
But I keep the blinds shut, baby, I don’t want to know
Because I’m apocalyptic, disciplined, and panic-dreaming
And I’ve got blood on my hands
But I look in the mirror and
See a mouth move around to say
You can’t hide forever
Now I run down the flicker hall
Like a hunted animal
Because I can’t hide forever
And you can’t hide forever
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3. |
Same Way
03:40
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I could drink your wine if I wanted
I could keep you up all night
I could let the stars into my eyes
They could tell you stories so bright
But I will never come when you call me
I will never answer to that name
Because it’s getting too late now honey
And you know, if we went there, we couldn’t come back the same way.
And so you tell me you’re done with that
You need me because I’m abstract
Well, I’ve got something like the same for you,
I’m just slower now to react.
Because if you saw me in my blacks and my whites
Like long, dark hair in the moonlight
If you found me in my cage now, honey
In the space behind the stage
Would you still feel the same way?
Well I’ve got nothing but love for you honey
I keep myself hidden away
But I want nothing but the best for us honey
I don’t know what to say
I don’t know what to say
Now, I’ve known it since I was young
We only go around just once
So if it seems like I’m resisting your love
I’m just trying not to mess it up
Because I just want to get better at this guitar
And I’m just trying to get out of these dive bars
Because I came here with a song to play
And if I have any say, I’m going out the same way.
Well I’ve got nothing but love for you honey
I keep myself hidden away
But I want nothing but the best for us honey
I don’t know what to say
I don’t know what to say
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4. |
Falling Star
03:44
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I am tired of beautiful women,
they are everywhere I turn.
They're plastered up real big on the mall marquee.
They make me feel like I was made wrong.
They make me feel like I was made wrong.
And I am tired of watching their whole lives,
of scrolling endless until I'm numb,
of knowing how much they all hang out with each other,
of feeling how deep I'm alone.
Of feeling how deep I'm alone.
So I want a big house in the middle of nowhere,
and I want a big garden where I can watch things grow.
I want a real life with people that love me.
If I fit inside my TV, I don't even want to know.
I am tired of being a woman in a world that dangles keys,
telling me what I seek is independence so I forget that I'm not free.
Yeah, I'm alone, but I'm not free.
And I am tired of taking my clothes off just to put a new dress on,
all for some girls who've been selling me my own damn dream
since I was really just too young.
I can see now, I was too young.
So I want a big house in the middle of nowhere,
and I want a big garden where I can watch things grow.
I want a real life with people that love me.
If I fit inside my TV, I don't even want to know.
And I am tired of fearing the silence.
I'm too sick to laugh at God.
I don't care anymore if no one's up there,
I'm gonna start looking up.
Oh I want a big house in the middle of nowhere,
and I want a big garden where I can watch things grow.
I want a real life with people that love me.
If I fit inside my TV, I don't even want to know.
If I fit inside my TV, I don't even want to know.
If I fit inside my TV, please don't let me know.
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5. |
Heaven
03:28
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I run it all day
I never turn it off
I run it ’til the batteries go
And when the batteries die
I just throw them out
There’s always more batteries around
And nothing can stop me from playing my games
Nothing can stop me from living
When I go to heaven, I’ll be where I am now
I got no use for religion
I got a lot of things supposed to make me happy
Got a lot of people, too
But my screen’s blue
Yeah, I’m an internet loser
Choking down a day dream
And no one can stop me from hating myself
Nothing can make me forget it
When I go to heaven, I’ll be where I am now
I got no use for delusion
I’m running all day
Somebody slow me down
I’d like to smell a flower or two
But I’ve got no time
Don’t you know who I am?
I’m the queen of my cell phone
And nothing can stop me from getting ahead
Nothing can stop me from winning
When I go to heaven, I’ll be where I am now
I got no use for reflection
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6. |
Just a Dream
03:29
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You stack your deck with your mother’s cards
You’d break your back for your father’s heart
You go to sleep with the heavenly
You wake up slow and you hit repeat
But
You and me
We should be driving faster
Music should be blasting
Cast out
We should scream
Open up our eyes and
Stay awake our whole life
Oh I’m
Just a dream
Oh you’re
Just a dream
I gave a ride to a stranger once
He led me down to the dangerous
He did his best to dismember me
But I have been what I’ll always be
Heavenly
You and me
We should be driving faster
Music should be blasting
Cast out
We should scream
Open up our eyes and
Stay awake our whole life
Oh I’m
Just a dream
Oh you’re
Just a dream
I’ll let you see me with my skin untied
We’ll make the most of the dying light
Then swim away with the heavenly
We’ll do whatever helps us get free
You and me
We should be driving faster
Music should be blasting
Cast out
We should scream
Open up our eyes and
Stay awake our whole life
Oh we’re
Just a dream
Just a dream
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7. |
Black Hole
04:34
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The whole world’s filled with wedding vows and rings
I reached out, touched forever, it was freezing
And now I’ve racked my brain for hours
But I can’t understand the damn thing.
When I close my eyes, I always see the black hole
It devours the only star I ever follow home
So I can’t see the point —
You do it right, you still end up alone.
But I, I wanna do it all with you.
Oh I, I wanna lose it all with you.
When I was young, I loved like it was always
I found the flower in every little bud I could see
But now the flower’s bloomed
And all this love is honey for the bees
And they take it from me
But I, I wanna give it all to you.
Oh I, I wanna lose it all to you.
I’m at the head of a table in a chattering silence
Everybody’s looking, but nobody’s watching
And it’s out under the shadow of a night so cold
It is the rough and the tumble of the dark way home
And it comes around here, more often than not,
To remind me of something I never really forgot:
You’re the waterfall
And I’m just water, and that’s all.
I don’t know what any of it really means
It’s a slow death loneliness, red as falling leaves.
But I will remain idealistic,
And I will take you with me when I go.
Because I, I only wanna be with you.
Oh I, I only ever wanna be with you.
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8. |
Honest
02:50
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I been a good girl
Doin’ ritual
Smokin’ pot and
Stretchin’ my body out.
I been losin’ friends like weight
Shakin’ off the world
Takin’ on the lonely work.
I was a liar for the mirror
Now I’m honest for no one.
I was a liar for the mirror
Now I’m honest for no one.
And you
You been a dirty dog, crawlin’ around
Now you show up, you show off
Stretch your body out.
You’re lookin’ real good
High performance
Only thing is
No one likes you now.
You were a liar at the party
Now you’re honest for no one.
You were a liar at the party
Now you’re honest for no one.
I been dressin’ up real nice
since thirteen
but it never felt quite right,
ya know?
I been dressin’ up real nice
since thirteen
but it never felt quite right,
Until now
I was a liar for the mirror
Now I’m honest for no one.
I was a liar for the mirror
Now I’m honest for no one.
I was a liar for the mirror
Now I’m honest for no one.
I was a liar for the mirror
Now I’m honest.
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9. |
Strangers
03:28
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Oh holy night
Graffiti on the walls
Tattoos on his arms
The bird of paradise calls me late
Says ‘you still owe me twenty’
I say ‘I’m keepin’ it
Long as it keeps you calling, honey’
So we buy another week
I kill another memory of hating you,
But hating you is how I know I knew you
And
We been strangers since
We been strangers
We been strangers since
The last time I saw you
We been strangers since
We been strangers
We been strangers since
The last time I saw you
Oh swollen night
Last bulb flickering
We wait, we break, we separate
Only to start again
My God, I pray
You still owe me something
I had a dream you kissed me on my shoulder
But
We been strangers since
We been strangers
We been strangers since
The first time I met you
We been strangers since
We been strangers
We been strangers since
The first time I met you
We played pretend
We dressed up in our parents’ clothes
You poured some honey in my beer
I sipped it slow
I woke up running down the hallway
to the exit
The right foot, left crescendo
The dirty desperation
I waited,
And now I surround myself with boys
Who idealize their high school girlfriends
And
We’ll be strangers ’til
We’ll be strangers
We’ll be strangers ’til
The last time I see you.
We’ll be strangers ’til
We’ll be strangers
We’ll be strangers ’til
The last time I see you.
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10. |
Heavy Heart
04:46
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You’re embodied
And I’m embarrassed
I should go but
I stick around
I know you won’t
Want me later
Anymore than
You do now.
And down the hall
There is a girl who
They’ve been calling
Anyone.
And anyone will
Do anything
That you ask her
Just for fun.
And like a memory
of a teardrop
in a red cup,
I dream on
And I see you,
and how you see her,
like nostalgia,
like a song.
So I’ve got a heavy heart.
All these nights I
Keep on going
To the party
By myself
Just to sit by
Knowing full well
You’ve got eyes on
Someone else
But
I can’t leave ‘cuz
You like the record
That my dad plays
In his car
And I can feel you
Like that bass line
I know who you really are
So I’ve got a heavy heart.
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11. |
Braced for Impact
04:39
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Every time you drive the car
My body thinks we’re gonna die
I’m sorry, I know it makes you mad
How I’m always braced for impact.
You see, my daddy was a wrestler
You lost his daddy really young
And when we were growing up
He used to get so mad
But I forgive him
Because my brother taught me sympathy
He said ‘he never got to learn, you see’
He said ‘he is just a man braced for impact’.
And I have my mother’s shoulders
And she has shoulders made of stone
From a life spent reacting to the unknown
She’s been quiet, iron-clad
She’s been so long braced for impact.
I have inherited this tension
I keep it between my bones and skin
I’m sorry, sometimes I get to mad
It makes me itch, it makes me moan
It makes me burst to be heard
And to hurt
And at worst
To be left alone.
But then there’s you
And you make me calm
I ride the ocean in your arms.
You take me scared, you take me separate.
You take me home ’til I am mended.
You take it easy, make me laugh.
Make me forget what I have been.
Make me forget what I still am —
Braced for impact.
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12. |
Little Virgin
03:36
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I’m a little virgin, all my life.
I see the world in everybody’s eyes.
So I’m a little anxious, I’m a little shy.
I’m a little sad about what gets left behind.
And everybody here’s trying to break my sky.
They’ll chase me down until we run out of mile.
But I’m just here for the very first time
And that’s not long enough to give up trying.
Oooh, you can’t make me care about your promises
I gave up on finding peace so long ago,
Because now I know,
I’m only meant to look for it.
I’m only meant to look for it.
My old street’s got crumbling houses
Old tire swings and boys that do not cry.
I was your scraped knee, now I’m your compulsion,
I’m your internet girlfriend sending my love from Russia.
Oooh, you can’t make me care about your millions
I gave up on finding peace so long ago,
Because now I know,
I’m only meant to look for it.
I’m only meant to look for it.
But I’m a little virgin, all my life.
I will remain that way until the day I die
And when everything around me kneels and cries,
I see the sun come up, and I begin to smile.
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Girl Blue Troy, New York
Girl Blue is the project of solo artist Arielle O’Keefe. Compared often to the likes of Laura Marling, Jeff Buckley, and Alanis Morissette, she is a powerhouse vocalist with the rare ability to write songs that both catch the ear and touch the heart. She plays out regularly around the country and records music in upstate NY with Just Pretend Records. ... more
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